exactly where I put it.

[gallery link="file" columns="5"] Endings.  Life all about endings and completion in the form of accomplishment and achievement.  Hours yielded to those and things not owning our lives, but we give it, our lives and how we live it, to that which is fleeting and temporal.  No end in sight, but a brighter, happier horizon told to be somewhere out there if we just keep giving to that which can never give back lasting or missed moments or happiness.  Then you wake up one day a stranger in your own life, unknown to those and that which is lasting and forever.

Pictures must be evidence of life lived and moments shared connecting not merely observed.  The form and shape and life filling every frame, I want to know them, give to it and forever be connected, not simply associated.  It matters.  Life is passing and will not stop but we control flow and speed of time moving.

I work in a very corporate world which is good and not evil, but will take as much and sometimes more than you give.  A friend offered me a job a while back.  In every way better, but one which I didn’t notice initially.  Pay was substantial.  Potential was unreal.  “In ten years, if everything works like I’m planning, I’ll be set financially.”  That sounded amazing.  Who doesn’t want promising potential that is very real such as what my friend is banking on?!  But.  There is always a cost.  No shortcuts lead rightly to happiness and fulfillment.  The but, the hours and commitment required.  Longer hours.  Much, much longer than the day burns bright and warm.  Always available.  The but and true cost to the potential of great reward and a set future which is never really set no matter how hard we try or how much our brow pours out, time.  It would have owned me as I gave for what I affirmed as the greater good.  An ending and glowing completion in the form of accomplishment and achievement, status and success.

So where does the time go?

Lost in shuffling feet and looking eyes searching for brighter day, time is given and discarded.  The beauty of aging in my daughters’ eyes, the sound of unhinged laughter disconnected from circumstance, their unknowing still and needing always, the intimacy of being wanting to be held still, sleepy mornings rushing for school, ballet, basketball, the park, bicycles, hiking, crayon drawings, family cook night, date nights ...all, and so much more, given for what doesn’t love back and only leaves.  There is one ending trumping all and for me, it will be three in the form of hands holding, open to receive and give love.  Time never meant to be master, but we bow.  Time to us given as a gift to make beauty lasting in the space allowed us.

‘Wake up today,’ ringing in my ears.  ‘Be alive right here,’ beating in my heart.

One day you will wake up and notice life grown and mature all around you.  On that morning, may our hearts be full and time a friend and may memories of days behind lived as fully as we could in the time allowed warm us.  I want to know my daughters and them know me better.  My biggest regret would be for time to distance us because I gave too much room for what never really mattered in the first place.

So where does the time go? Exactly where I put it.